It's a little bit silly to simply expect you to know who the characters in this twisted tale are. So here is the cast of the office; the bit players and the main characters. *Also: I thought I should mention that I make up words sometimes. This could be an issue if you didn't know it at the outset. Alright, well, here we go.*
Barb: The brave heroine, she sits in the goldfish bowl known as Customer Service. She's eating everything on the menu. Here's another picture of her, dressed as our mailman.
Emily: Really in charge, the mom of two of the coolest people I know, and a really good singer, she has the command central in the goldfish bowl. Favorite Georges item: Salad.
Sheila: Also sits in the goldfish bowl, 'Forthy' won't accept my friend request on facebook and is an all-around classy lady. Favorite Georges' item: Shrimp Basket. She's also phenomenal at sewing. She's pictured on the left. And oh, who's that in the middle? That's right: it's Barb.
Annie: The only person I call by their last name, she's the billing lady. She's a great lady, and occasionally thinks that teenagers are all no good. It was really hard for me to find a picture of her. Favorite Georges Item: Cold Roast Beef Special
Ashley: Casey Anthony's numbah one homegirl, dating White Mike and way cooler than I'll ever hope to be in my wildest 'lil dreams, Ashley is on the sales team. She's got those feather hair extensions, which are mad awesome, so I'm usually jealous of her. Favorite Georges item: The Chili.
Oz: Owner of Markley Street Pickles and Oz's Professional Carcass removal, Oz plays the bagpipes. He drives 'the cougar' and never actually eats Georges food. Because he's sort of a health food nut. Well, actually, one time, I saw him eat a sandwich from there. Favorite Georges item: Dry Turkey Club. That's not his baby, by the way.
Liz: She used to scare the crap out of me when I was little, but now she only assaults my feelings on the daily. She can flirt her way into a new iphone any day of the week. She too, chooses not to eat Georges, and is currently the copresident of the Regiment. Favorite Georges item: Allegedly the chicken burrito, but I've never seen her eat one.
Krick: Tennis master, Krick sits in the one sales desk I can't see from my seat. Oh well. She's a proponent of the sandwiches and milkshake day. Favorite Georges item: Chicken salad on a Pita. Also, she's pictured here with none other than Barb.
Kathy- With three----wait no----four kids, she's not in right now because she's on vacation. She has the desk with the footrest, and she has yet to order lunch for Barb. She's pictured with Krick. I have no idea what her Favorite Georges item is and I have no way of knowing.
Todd: The most in charge, he was on the Al Alberts showcase as a kid and now sits at command central. He writes plays (which may or may not be mentioned) and also is a pretty alright guy. He looks a little bit like Gary Busey. I could think up more interesting things to say, but he's so funny that they really wouldn't do justice. Favorite Georges item: Half a chicken.
Nick: Rap music aficionado, and desk buddy, Nick's the guy to see about the Internet. Which is good, because I have computer trouble like 90% of the time. He wasn't really eating when I last saw him, which was a while ago. He went as Christopher Reeves for Halloween and excels at offending/wheedling. Favorite Georges Item: Hmmm.....I don't think I've ever seen him eat Georges food.
Esther: Cinnamon D, the best coffee-maker in the entire world, works at my desk. She loves Vera Bradley, and is often followed by a bevy of admirers (like Vorath, the pizza guy). She takes the lunch order almost every day, so she's probably the most involved in Barb's eating saga. She's also a champion knife thrower. Favorite Georges item: Meatballs.
Vicki: Despite the fact that she's abandoning us and probably never coming back, she's a pretty okay girl. She hates smiling and rainbows. Favorite Georges item: Grilled cheese as long as it's not grilled cheese specials day, but if it is, then chicken fingers.
Me: I do a lot of talking, so not much here. Favorite Georges item: Weaknesses (Weaknii)
Cheese: McCheese, or Cheese, sits in the far office. He shoots birds with Nerf guns, sporadically reads aloud from Blood, Money and Power and wears the eye patch. More often than not, he's not wearing shoes, and he also eats raw red onions. He shares an office with the Wizard. Favorite Georges item: Fish sandwich
The Wizard: Apparently the only one who ever does anything. He sits with Cheese, and is hardly ever here for lunch. He's a vegetarian, and one time I accidentally spilled his Margarita out of his hand at a party. Now I've got no toes, why? Because he's magic. Favorite Georges Item: Eggplant Parm (The only thing I remember him ever getting). I understand that this isn't the best picture of the Wiz, but I needed to show you that he ACTUALLY a wizard.
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Jay: Jay is our mailman. Despite his secret crush on Customer Service and Todd, he's usually pretty chill. He plays the bass, and doesn't eat here because he doesn't work here. Usually. He will come and stay for birthday parties. He also has received a back massage from Koz, under the guise that he actually was a masseuse. He once slept over at the office.
And the sad thing is, that this isn't even a joke. All of these people really work here. And are all actually like this. Merrrh.
